Boe's Big Day Out...A Stand-Alone Superhero Tale

I realize that I’m currently in the middle of a superhero story...but I’ve recently been given permission to tell this little story about our sonic friend Boe... I hope you like it.

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It was a cold, windy day when Boe discovered the dangers of driving in the snow...

He was on his way to pick up a friend (MrTightPants) in order to take him to a concert. There he was, just driving along (going exactly the speedlimit--he’s VERY law abiding) and blaring The Devil Wears Prada when an oil tanker came barrelling around a sharp corner of Rt 293, crashing through the center barricade and directly across two lanes of highway, heading straight for Boe’s van...

Luckily for our hero, he has cat-like reflexes in addition to his other talents.

He cut the wheel sharply away from the oncoming tanker, narrowly avoiding disaster by crashing headlong into a guardrail cleverly disguised by a snowbank.

Luckily he was alive...

...Unluckily the van he was driving was totaled (It had come to rest on a rock, tearing out the oil pan and breaking an axel).

This was not good news for our hero. How would he ever make it to the show he had been planning to attend? How could he show his face (the part not hidden by a heck of a lot of blonde hair anyway) to his friend if he let him down by failing to show up?

It was a conundrum.

Luckily, just then another vehicle also came around the corner...

Equally luckily, the vehicle was a large bus and the driver pulled into the breakdown lane to assist Boe and offer him a ride. As soon as he was on the bus, the driver, a friendly guy named Jethro, offered him a cell phone. After calling MrTightPants and informing him of the disaster, Boe returned the phone and turned back to the other occupants of the bus, intending to thank them for their assistance. He was shocked and elated by the sight that met his eyes...

Incredibly... Boe immediately recognized the passengers... In fact, at first he was so shocked he could barely believe the truth of his own eyes...

It was Evan, Shawn, Nick and Chris. You guessed it... All were members of the very same band Boe and MrTightpants had been headed to ManchVega$ to see!

Although he managed to hang on to his cool with both hands... he was completely blown away...

And then he realized...Something was dreadfully wrong. Though the members of this esteemed band were friendly, they were also a bit distraught. It seems that they had just recently lost their drummer and the new bandmember had not arrived on time for the ManchVega$ show...and let’s face it, what good is a kick-ass band without a drummer?

Of course, Boe was far too modest to explain his talents right away...however, he was not embarrassed to hitch a ride with the bus to the venue, arriving approximately an hour before show time...

The bandmembers were seriously beginning to wonder if they were going to have to call the show off...and then fate stepped in...

Or rather, an enormous redneck with no chin and arms like a tree-trunk stepped in. Well, actually, stepped-up would be the more appropriate phrase...

As the bandmembers and some lowly peons were setting up equipment and also trying to decide what they would do if their new drummer really didn’t appear, this redneck (who’d had entirely too much cheap beer) decided to start heckling Chris (the lead singer).

This behavior did not sit well with my superhero friend. He immediately stepped up himself, pushed the redneck (appropriately named Billy-Bob) into the bar, grabbed an empty beer bottle, and, using the power of his voice, shattered everything but the neck of it into nearly invisible splinters...

Billy-Bob suddenly and not so unexpectedly, became quite eager to apologize to all and sundry for his brutish behavior...

The Chris and Evan in particular were exceedingly impressed. So impressed that when Boe asked if he could practice on their absent member’s drum kit before the start of the show, they were happy to let him "bang away" for a few minutes...

Ahh...but you see... in addition to his many superhero talents, Boe is also quite the drummer himself...

As soon as he let loose...the smiles on the faces of the band grew nearly as bright as the neon signs above the bar...

Though he is far too modest to rub it in to his friends (especially MrTightPants) Boe had the time of his life playing the ManchVega$ show with Vanna...

Seriously, ask him about it some time...

Oh, and by the way... Happy Birthday Boe!