And Now Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Dose of Surreal-ity, Already in Progress

Today was a horrid day, so to staunch the pain of it, I’ll return to the most recent Superhero Story and give you a bit more of the continuing saga... I realize that it’s been a while, so let’s have a little recap, shall we?

When last we left our heroes...

...The Chameleon, Boe, Fuzzy-B and Seymour had been taken by those evil ninjas led by Shiruken and a group of Guildmembers, bent on intimidation. They demanded the return of the Kraken’s Eyes.

...The Aviator, Shaggy and Lizzard had managed to escape the vile villain’s clutches due to superhuman quick-thinking, reflexes and overwhelming luck.

...The Pirate Queen had called in mob reinforcements (Vito Cantara and his men) and was attempting to plan a rescue attempt...

Now if only we could find the lair of these foul weasels...

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As the long day wore on we tried to channel inspiration into a workable plan.

The first step was for me to introduce my heroes to Vito and his men, who acted as though they met teenagers with superpowers every day of the week (gotta love the mob...it prepares you for every eventuality).

In fact, Vito even cracked a smile at a few of Shaggy’s shenanigans and his lieutenant was mightily impressed with The Aviator’s skills and quick thinking. One of the guys demanded that Lizzard show her abilities, requesting that she turn into just about everything, from a bedpan to a geranium to a chipmunk. By the time she was finally worn out from the effort it took, he was standing, mouth open, nearly green from jealousy.

Vito tried to make my heroes "an offer they couldn’t refuse" to come and work for him but I quickly changed the subject after saying, "Mr. Cantara, I’m sure they’d like to consider your offer, once they have graduated from college... and recovered the rest of the team..."

He shrugged and let it go. Humoring me, no doubt.

Then I requested some sleeping bags.

It seems I was the only one who appreciated the fact that here were three heroes (and one future crazy cat lady) who hadn’t slept in what felt like forever. There was some grumbling from the peanut gallery but in no time one of the mobsters returned with 4 top quality bags from EMS and we all stretched out in the Basecamp to grab a few hours rest before we began the heavy lifting.

Naturally Shaggy and the Aviator had to outdo each other by finding improbable places to curl up...the Aviator balanced himself precariously on the edge of the music room door (sticking to the wall via his power) like Spider-Man. Shaggy on the other hand zoomed to the ledge above the doorway and after pushing some drums aside and blowing away some dust stretched out himself, finally able to sleep on his back for the first time since he’d suddenly sprouted wings.

Lizzard, true to her serene nature, folded her sleeping bag neatly on a riser in a perfect square just above the floor where I lay and took the form of a small black cat, winding in a circle several times before purring herself (and us) to sleep.

And that was (you saw this coming, didn’t you?) when something weird happened yet again...

It felt like I had just barely closed my eyes when the dream began...

I was in a small, dark, room. Strangely, I felt completely calm. I stood and waited for something to happen. Gradually, the room became suffused with a warm, golden light...The light was coming from an unlikely looking source, a plain, even crudely constructed, pine box very similar in size and shape to a small music box. It sat on a table in the middle of the small room.

As the glow gained in intensity, the other occupants of the room became clear. Standing at the points of the compass were Lizzard(west), The Aviator(east) and Shaggy(south). I at was North. For a moment, we didn’t speak, just looked at one another. Finally the Aviator broke the silence by saying, "Damn, this is the weirdest dream I’ve had, well, ever, actually...Didn’t I just close my eyes?"

I looked at him in amazement and said, "Dude, you too?" At this point both Lizzard and Shaggy began chiming in with similar comments. At pretty much the same time we all realized that this was not really a dream but something else entirely.

And that was when the humming started.

It came from inside the box.

The tune was familiar somehow... At almost the same time, we all began to laugh. It was "My Heart Will Go On" and within moments we were all either humming or singing along with the familiar tune... As our voices rose, something inspiring happend.

The lid of the box opened.

Within were the Kraken’s Eyes. They were glowing. It was then I realized where we were and I nearly slapped my forehead at my own lack of observation skills. We were in the hidden room in my basement. Somehow, either for real or in a dream so detailed that it seemed real, we’d been transported back to my house.

Abruptly the humming ceased and a voice came from the box.

I can’t say for sure but I have to admit, the voice sounded familiar...I know no one will believe it but I could’ve sworn the voice belonged to Barry White (aka, God).

This is what he said,

"Hey Baby...In order to defeat these forces of darkness, you’ll have to take up arms against a sea of troubles...and by opposing, end them. You must each take one of the Kraken’s Eyes as protection. These holy relics, passed down from one generation to the next, will protect your minds from intruders. They also have other uses, which you will have to discover on your own...but use the power wisely and return the Eyes here when you have rescued your friends...There is still much work for you to do and reliance on these relics will result in dependence and fracture your fellowship...Now choose... wisely."

After a moment’s hesitation, I stepped forward and reaching into the box, selected one of the Eyes...at first it appeared as nothing but a glowing blue sphere in my hand, and the vibration it gave off rattled my sternum pleasantly. Within seconds it had changed form and become something entirely innocuous, a black velvet choker from which hung a tiny pewter charm in the shape of a quill pen, so finely detailed that it could have been put to use writing a sonnet... I put it around my neck, closed the clasp and calmly stepped back.

As each of the others followed my lead, something similar happened...Lizzard’s yellow ball of light became a little gold bracelet with several tiny charms hanging from it in the shape of musical notes, rests and a G clef... The Aviator’s orange ball of light became a keychain with a silver plane hanging from it... and Shaggy’s blue orb turned into a black Zippo lighter engraved with a picture of crossed drumsticks on one side and the Japanese symbol for "music" on the other...

Almost as soon as we had made our selections, Barry’s voice returned, lower this time, "You have chosen as you were meant to. Save your friends... and the world from those who would use these powers and relics for evil..."

As he finished the speaking, the lid of the box desended and the light in the room dimmed...

I opened my eyes and sat up in my sleeping bag, completely awake. I could feel the softness of velvet against my neck, and the charm hanging from it felt warm against the hollow of my throat.

The others were all in similar postures, examining their new "trinkets."

I looked, first at Lizzard (who had resumed human form now) and then up at Shaggy and the Aviator. The look of astonishment on all their faces must have mirrored my own. Shaggy said it best when after a moment of silence he made a face, paused, and said (oh so profoundly),

"Huh."

None of us were tired anymore.

Those kidnappers were in big trouble...