So...About Being Captured...Yeaaah

Well, I believe that I began telling you about a sparkling experience that I had when I was recently captured by some of my own kind. Naturally, being the evil wench that I am... I totally left you hanging.

I'd say I'm sorry, but it would be a total lie.

So anyway, there I was, bound in tight cording and lying on the floor of the ship's hold.

Some scurvy scoundrel had just attempted to water me like a horse at a trough and I showed my gratitude by spraying him in the face with a mouthful of the rancid stuff.

And he laughed.

Strangely, I anticipated something other than humor as a response, but what the hell did I know? I mean, seriously, my frigging head was still pounding from a blow to the head.

Anyway, when he finished his laughter with a good-natured snort, he knelt down again and said, "Happy? Shall we try this again, or do I leave you in the dark for a few more hours to think it over?"

His insistence on being friendly totally pissed me off.

I growled.

Though I still couldn't make out any specific features, I could see the outline of his head, and he shook it slowly to show his disappointment. The light coming from outside caught the curve of a hoop earring, and it momentarily blinded me.

I blinked, and then said in a slightly raspy voice, "Umm... Cliche much?"

He put his hands on his knees and pushed to his feet, saying "You'll come to your senses eventually Queenie... Or if not... There are some big rats down here..." And then proceeded to climb the ladder out like a monkey, thunking the trap door closed.

I listened closely. No sound of chains. No click of a key turning in a lock.

Best. News. Ever.

For a few moments, I simply lay still in an attempt to scan my body for any other signs of abuse, but other than the enormous pain in my throbbing head, I didn't feel particularly misused. Though of course, I was tied like a mummy. It was humiliating... and whoever had tied the knots hadn't been some pathetic landlubber, he or she had known exactly what they were doing.

Fiddle-dee-dee Batman.

They were pretty good... But as you of all people well know...

I'm better.

It was "the work of a moment" to extricate myself from bondage (Thank Carlos I always have that multi-tool stowed away in my boot for just such emergencies).

Soon I was rummaging through the supplies in the hold, and this is what I found:

-Lots of rope
-A grapnel hook
-3 stale biscuts
-Lots of barrels of rum
-A copy of The Catcher in the Rye
-A box of pirated (ha ha) DVDs
-A waterlogged June 1998 Playboy magazine

Well... it wasn't exactly an arsenal... But I had recovered my faith in myself, and I knew that I would make good my escape ASAP.

And although I didn't know exactly what time it was, I could tell that the light coming from the seal around the trapdoor was definitely weaker... all it would take was some guts and a little bit of good luck.

With a prayer that karma would be on my side in the coming battle, I geared up and prepared myself.

Let's see how it turns out, shall we?