3am On a Tuesday

... When last I discussed my latest grand adventure with you I happened to be staggering back to my cabin for a few hours of well earned rest in my small but cozy Captain's bunk.

Sadly, my rest was to be short indeed.

*sigh*

No rest for the queen, as per usual.

I was just dropping my lightly clad form into bed, when I heard a commotion from the other end of the ship.

For a few seconds I considered simply lying to myself, and saying that it must just be some of the boys having fun with one another, but two things stopped me.

1. One of our Articles of Piracy addresses the issue of fighting on board ship... It is strictly forbidden on pain of marooning.
2. The sound was coming from the main mast, where I had instructed my men to tie and set guards to keep Mr. Congeniality from escaping until I could question him.

So, swearing quietly, I dropped a loose velvet shirt over my head, grabbed my sword in one hand, and threw open the door, taking off down the passage, and emerging onto deck.

The sight that greeted me was displeasing... in the extreme.

The prisoner was standing with his back to me, holding a pistol that he had doubtless secreted somewhere on his person. He was waving it about and holding off my men with threats of shooting wildly amongst them. In his other hand was a knife, stolen from one of my men in the fray that had doubtless ensued when the crew had discovered him extricating himself from bondage.

Well, granted I was wearing almost nothing, but the advantage for me was that I was behind him, and since I was barefoot I made almost no sound on the deck. Also, being dressed only in black, I was nothing but a quiet shadow lurking behind him. So far most of the men hadn't seen me, and the ones who had were studiously pretending that they hadn't.

Mr. Congeniality, sure that he had the upper hand was moving rapidly to the side of the ship and preparing himself for a leap into the ocean. Patiently awaiting my opportunity, I stalked him like a cat, and when he put the hand holding the knife to the ship's railing, I raised my sword, spun it in my hand, and clubbed him with hilt. He staggered back from the rail, trying to right himself, and looked up at me from his stooped position. His eyes went wide for a moment, and he said,

"Whoa... I had a dream like this once..." And then his eyes crossed, and he sank to the floor, witless.

Clearly, I needed to work on my technique. Either that, or I was going soft. I had intended to hit hard enough to drop him to the deck instantly, but at the last moment I'd pulled back on the blow.

My father would have been so disappointed. Hadn't he always instructed me to "follow through with your swing, Virginia"?

I heaved a last sigh, and said,

"What the hell happened here?" I scowled my blackest look at the shame-faced and mostly inebriated crew members who could manage to meet my gaze. They looked away and muttered imprecations at one another. They looked like nothing so much as a group of shame-faced 8th graders muttering about how they had forgotten to do their homework.

I shouted to the Quartermaster, and in quick words that jabbed like uppercuts, I instructed him to have the prisoner stripped. I would NOT have him pulling even more weapons out of unlikely hiding places to use against the crew or myself. I then told them to secure him with irons this time, and then bring the key to me for safe keeping.

A few of the men sniggered, and one or two actually looked embarrassed.

Seriously? I was disgusted by their cluelessness and prim attitude.

"I assure you gentlemen, I won't go into a case of the vapors and demand my smelling salts. If I can stand to look at him, then what the hell is your problem?"

Not one of them met my gaze. The Quartermaster began barking my orders, and the crew leaped to obey, not wanting to incur my wrath.

I let out a snort, and then stalked back to my cabin, to resume my graceful slumber.

Well, okay, so I'm lying. I'm probably the LEAST graceful and peaceful sleeper on the seven seas. I talk to myself, I move about, I some times wake myself up humming, and yes, I drool.

But still, you get the idea.

It was going to be an interesting day of questioning the prisoner, and I would need my wits about me.

As I sailed over the horizon into the land of dreams, a thought struck me... Mr. Congeniality had been closely guarded by several of my crew... There was no way he could have freed himself without assistance...

Was there a ninja in our midst?

Even in my sleep, a shudder rippled through me... An interesting day indeed.