To Boys Who Wear Girl Pants, or, Fashion 101

Okay, I've been putting this off for a while but since I'm still experiencing flashbacks from last weekend's concert that cause me to awake in the middle of the night screaming and drenched in icy sweat, I've just got to say something...

These days, many young gentlemen choose to wear "girl pants."

Let me say, right at the start, that I have absolutely no problem with this. I say, wear whatever the hell you want. If it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else, go for it...I'm on your side.

Here's the problem...sometimes... others are inadvertently scarred for life by your fashion choices.

Case in point...

At the concert I went to last Saturday, there was a young man wearing black girl pants.

Fine, fine.

You see, there was just one problem with said person.

Because generally when a young gentleman wears "girl pants" he also wears undergarments.

Oh yeah, you know where I'm going don't you?

That's right. This guy was "goin' commando" so to speak.

Every time he skanked past me and the group of young women I was with, I cringed inside. It was painful.

Finally, I just couldn't take it stoically anymore. I leaned over to one of the girls I was with and asked her, "Hey, do you have a glue stick?" She looked at me strangely, laughed and said,

"Why?" I replied,

"'Cause the next time that guy comes past here, I want to grab him by the beltloops, and glue his ass to his pants so I don't have to see his 3 inch plumber crack anymore."

Needless to say, this caused the lovely young woman I was speaking with to burst into uncontrollable laughter. She admitted that she'd had a similar thought. Then I asked both her and three of the other young ladies that were at the show..."Now, be honest with me...is this a look that you find to be...well...sexy? attractive? cute? All of the above?"

They were unanimous in their dislike of said look...especially on the boy who apparently lost his underwear when it came time to dress for the show.

So I'm just sayin'... I have no doubt that there are some guys out there who can pull off the "girl pants" look successfully. Just please please please...

Don't forget the boxers...or briefs, whichever you prefer... Trust me, the ladies will thank you for it.

That is all.