A Bedtime Story

Have you ever fallen asleep on a couch?

Yeah, dumb question...of course you have. We all have at some point.

So the real question is, have you ever fallen asleep on a couch and woken up in so much pain that you quite literally had to throw yourself on the floor in order to get off?

Seriously, it was like attempted suicide...only in a very small way...

So on to the bedtime story...

But it's not what you think. This is no pink, happy tale of hopping bunnies and fuzzy puppies... This is a bedtime story with EDGE.

Just warning you...

Okay...here goes nothin'.

Once upon a time there was a person living in a house in the woods. The house was somewhat small, somewhat cozy, and highly secluded.

Mostly, this was a good thing.

Where it went horribly awry was the night of the moth.

I know, I know...you don't believe it... but it's true.

Last night, as I was about to pass out (much earlier than I expected, I might add), I heard a sound of loud bumping against the sliding glass doors of my bedroom. Thinking that Poe probably wanted to come in from off my balcony and curl up on the bed, I set my laptop down on my pillow and crawled out of bed myself to open the door...

That's when I got the biggest shock of my recent life.

There was a moth banging on the window.

I am not exaggerating here people.

IT WAS BANGING.

And it could actually do so, because it had a wingspan of somewhere between four and five inches at its widest point.

I COULD SEE ITS EYES.

It was staring at me.

Of course, I could have just turned off the light, and it might've gone away... unfortunately, I would no longer be able to see it as it attempted to drill a hole through my wall and get in my bedroom to suck my brain out through my nose.

So I went downstairs and slept on the couch.

The end.

To conclude...

My couch FUCKING sucks... Please remind me NEVER to sleep on it again. It's fine for lounging...but sleeping for longer than a 20 min nap?

No thank you.

That is all.

Over and out.