The Pirate Queen's Soundtrack, or, Seriously... Who the Hell Wants to Live Forever?

Okay, so I’m finally back from rollerblading… Two hours in the hot sun was enough for me. Luckily though, my favorite local roller blading spot was pretty deserted, which is good. As you know, I usually go late at night, mostly because I tend to wear significantly less clothing than I do under normal circumstances, and I am well aware that ladies who look like me--- well, let’s just say… There are some things that NO ONE wants to see.

I can accept this. And the fact is... When I put on a tank top... The damned thing is bound to scream for mercy.

I am aerodynamically challenged. It is what it is, and short of major surgery... it's not going to change any time soon.

Get the fuck over it. If I can live with it, you certainly can. Afterall, you're not the one carrying a six-month old around on YOUR chest.

Still, there are some days when it just feels good to get out under the sun and sweat a bit. So off I went, with a song in my heart and a swing in my hips.

As it happens, when I stopped off at a local watering hole to obtain an enormous bottle of water for my little excursion, I happened to run into someone I know. They asked where I was off to, and I explained. This person noticed the headphones slung casually over my shoulder and said, in a shocked voice,

“You listen to music while you do that? Isn’t that awfully dangerous?”

At first I laughed, because I thought that they were totally kidding. When I realized that this person was actually serious, I put on an equally serious face, crossed my fingers behind my back, and said, “Don’t worry, I only put the volume on LOW.” The look of relief on this person’s face was painfully obvious.

I left the encounter feeling a bit put off. I mean, I realize that this person was only concerned for my safety. But still… What the fuck, do I LOOK like I want to live forever?

And the truth is… I NEED a soundtrack in order to exercise.

Running… roller blading… hiking… bull-fighting... driving...

The only time I can do these things without music is when I do them WITH someone. If I’m alone, I either get bored, or I start to think about things that piss me off, namely HOW MUCH GODDAMNED PAIN I’M IN.

Am I the only one who understands this concept?

Hell, if I could somehow pull it off… I’d have a soundtrack following me EVERYWHERE.

That way, no one would ever actually have to ask how I was doing… They would be able to tell by listening to my theme music.

Now that’s an idea…

Anyone need a job?

Tee-hee.

So anyway… Someone recently asked me what kind of music I listen to when doing any sort of physical exercise alone… So here’s the list.*

Feel free to either ignore it, or mock me. (I have made some notes next to a few of the songs, but I’m pretty sure you won’t be interested in reading them).

Meh.

Talk to you later, Homes.

Oh, and by the way... There is pretty much one volume that music should be played at when exercising, and it's not LOW.

Just sayin'.



*The Pirate Queen's Current Playlist (with notes)

Click, Click Boom - Saliva (Do I really need to explain this one? Seriously?)
My Way or the Highway - Kid Rock (Why the hell not?)
Holly (Would You Turn Me On?) - All Time Low
Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry (LOL... Oh come on... How could you NOT love this song?)
The Birds and the Bees - Breathe Carolina (I bet you can guess what THIS one is about)
You Should've Killed Me When You Had the Chance - A Day to Remember
Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab for Cutie (Well... Here's hoping anyway)
Break on Through - the Doors (Need I say more?)
Those Shoes - The Eagles (As you know... I'm all about the shoes.)
May It Be - Enya - Lord of the Rings Soundtrack (If you don't already know that I love that movie... I guess you don't know me as well as I thought).
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven (Yup... another song about sex... God I'm transparent).
Remember the Name - Fort Minor
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Hell - Four Year Strong (The title still makes me laugh)
Pure Energy(club mix) - Information Society (HOLY 90's BATMAN!!)
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer (Hmmm... nevermind. I'm not saying it.)
Heartless - Kanye West
Dance in the Dark - Lady Gaga
Given Up - Linkin Park (I FRIGGIN' love these guys... Seriously)
Valentine's Day - Linkin Park
Deep Enough (Fast and Furious Soundtrack Remix) - Live (I mean, come on... Have you LISTENED to the words? LOL)
The War of All Against All - Receiving End of Sirens (Best. Intro. EVER.)
Save Me - Aimee Mann (Every girl needs a hero... Even me, surprisingly).
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins (Top Gun soundtrack)
Playing with the Boys - same as above (Oh come on... It's so cheesy, you have to love it)
Fortress Around Your Heart - Sting (*sigh*)
Bad Girlfriend - Theory of a Deadman
Pain - Three Days Grace
Sandstorm - Darude
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Theme Music - Nerf Herder (Still one of my all-time FAVORITE shows... I LOVE Spike)
Kryptonite - Three Doors Down (I mean, come on... It's a love song that incorporates a superhero... need I really explain this?)
Here I Go Again On My Own - Whitesnake (Sure... it's old... but it's basically the story of my life)
Remember Me - Josh Groban (I'm not explaining this one)

Well... If you actually read all the way to here... Wow. Honestly, I didn't think anyone would actually bother, so if you did...

You're obviously a masochist. But I love you for it.

V t PQ